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Fuck A Parliamentarian

This week Milly tells us about the disgusting institutional and direct violence facing Haitian Asylum Seekers. Extremely violent border patrolling is still authorized under the Biden administration who seems to be aspiring to Obama-era deportation numbers.

Also, WTF is a Parliamentarian how do Dems use totally surmountable bureaucracy to avoid helping anyone. Oops they did it again.

And Brad the human needs to simmer down and get a sense of humor, we think you’ll agree on this week’s Am I The Asshole.

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Corporate Persons Don’t Give A Shit About Your Mama

n this unique episode we introduce you to the concepts of corporate personhood and corporate constitutional rights. We get going by roasting a children’s book as a springboard to walk listeners through the basics of one of the most dangerous legal doctrines that ever existed.

We discuss how corporations hijacked the 14th Amendment to use the constitution against us — and make us pay for our own destruction. It’s a whole big thing that we’ll get into in much more detail in future episodes…but this is a little background info that’ll be helpful.

And no episode would be complete without an acknowledgement of the clever ways neoliberalism uses “diversity” to uphold horrific economic and foreign policy.

Listen up kids and grungies, we’re about to kill your heroes.

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agitated. S1 Ep5. – What’s Good For Your Heart Is Good For Your Boner with Elle Stanger

What’s agitating us? Kaitlin seriously has bee magic and it’s pissing off her neighbors. Shelly gives us the latest nonsense on corporate censorship and so-called progressives going to bat for g**gle’s constitutional rights.

And may we offer you an absolute treat? The one and only Elle Stanger joins us to talk about sex work and decriminalization. We laugh, we cry, we learn, we remind you that red meat is bad for your boners. You’re gonna like this one.

And back this week are two of our favorite segments! “Am I the Asshole” is back with some serious bird-related drama and Shelly gives us a quick rundown of the Olympic level Milkshake Ducks we missed on Twitter recently.

Find Elle at, on Instagram @stripperwriter, on Twitter @ellestanger, and you can email them at And be sure to check out the great work happening in Oregon at

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agitated. S1. Ep4. The Smooshy-Wooshy Episode Where We Share Our Personal Radicalization Paths

We explore some of the political and personal events that radicalized us and share some of the moments and values that brought us to the point at which you are tuning-in :). As we reflect on the mindfuck that is class in the United States, we talk about our experiences — some shared and some very divergent — of being a Millennial under late stage capitalism. We also discuss bisexuality and how absolutely uncomfortable it makes people that we just won’t “choose a side”.

What’s agitating us? The outright bullshit reasons some unions won’t support Medicare for All and are cockblocking its passage in New York. (THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS.) One union for all workers? We think yes. We also discuss the police training American cops are getting from the Israeli Army and have a “fuck yeah” moment about the Keystone XL pipeline. – XO

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